simple joy

“He felt that most people saw his mask, but that the bishop saw his face.”
-Victor Hugo (Les Miserables)

What is my true face? Who sees the real me?

With the dawn of networks like Facebook and Twitter, immersed in a society that is increasingly me-centered, where is the line between being oneself and self-promotion?  How does one walk the road of portraying an identity versus relating out of an identity already established?

According to Facebook I have 1,053 friends. That means if I meet with two friends a week it would take over ten years to see a friend twice. I would be forty years old before I saw some of you, fifty if we were to meet again.  Frankly, I’m not okay with this.

What is it, then, that has kept my face, your face, our faces on Facebook? I’m sure many of us would rather not own the fullness of that answer.  True, it is a convenient way to stay in touch with those we know who are spread across the country, even around the world, and it’s a quick way to keep others posted (literally!) on our own life.

I propose, however, the existence of a darker side to our relationship with Facebook.  Admit it, there are times when we derive some kind of increased value or importance simply based on the number of friends we have displayed on our profile. There are certain photographs immediately un-tagged for fear of being seen in an unwanted light. Even deeper, though, is the reality that I, you, we are afraid of being alone – and even more afraid of becoming known only to be dismissed.

This is not to say social media, in and of itself, is evil, because it isn’t. No doubt people make healthy use of it. I don’t think I’m one of them. When I’m on Facebook I’m liked and noticed, connected and “with” so many people…or am I?

In the midst of the appearance of flourishing relationships, there is a virtual emptiness fostered within the world of social media.  It is not accomplishing what we’ve told ourselves it will accomplish.  Rather than providing a means of knowing and being known or a true sense of connection, for many of us the “me” we are on Facebook portrays much more than she/he relates.

Are we embracing the mess of authentic relating? Or simply perfecting the art of mask-making?

So, what now? First off, conduct a gut-check. Ask yourself the not-so-comfortable questions like, “Am I relating out of a solidly formed identity? Or am I seeking to form or portray an identity that really isn’t me?”, “What emotional needs do I have? Am I attempting to fulfill these needs in a virtual world…or the real world?”, “What is it I most want in life?”, and “What is it I most fear?”.  Be honest with yourself; look at the entire spectrum of your intentions with social media and its ensuing relationships – the good, the bad & the ugly.  Where you go from there is for you to decide.

One thing is sure – you do have a true face, a uniquely fabulous face, divinely designed. Get to know that face. And while you’re at it, begin to seek courage to show glimpses of your face to others; let them cherish the true you.

By Kjersten Halvorsen, MA | 719.232.4132
Return to: http://KjerstenHalvorsen.com

“I am not an artist”- Words usually spoken quite emphatically, laced with shame and self-doubt-or at least a disclaimer. I know because they used to be my words [and still are, sometimes]. Put a canvas in front of me five years ago and you would have seen me freeze like one of Minnesota’s ten-thousand lakes. It’s different now. It can be different for you too.
Maybe you were teased in elementary school art classes, or told you are not creative. Maybe your creative expression was evaluated rather than enjoyed. Or maybe creative expression was deemed a waste of time and non-productive. For whatever reason, most of us have a fear or shame response to the prospect of creative expression.

What if art became a friend rather than foe? What if it were not about the product but the process? What if we were to let go of performance and truly honor what shows up on the page? What if we stopped forcing and began to simply release what is bubbling up inside?

Therapeutic Art is simply that. It is letting creative expression become a friend. It values the process of the expression. There are no expectations, no grade. In Therapeutic Art we honor what shows up on the page. We don’t force, but rather allow ourselves to release what has for so long been inside.

In certain seasons, it can be difficult to find words to express a certain pain, experience, or relationship. It is in these moments that we let color, shape, and metaphor speak for us. For, when that which has been trapped inside comes into the light, it is then that healing can begin to take place.

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By Kjersten Halvorsen, MA | 719.232.4132
Return to: http://KjerstenHalvorsen.com

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Who are you?

What are you doing here?

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If your answer is “I’m [insert your name], and I’m at my computer reading this post.”

Then we need to talk.

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Who are you?

[and]

What are you doing here?

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Ask five people on the street and you’ll get five different answers, anything from a blank stare to a mind boggling philosophical explanation.  If you ask me, I do have an answer and it continues to unfold – but that is for me to know.

Your answer is for you to receive.

It all starts with being curious with yourself. Start thinking about and journaling your answers to questions like these:

{What do I like/enjoy? What do I not like/enjoy?}

{What is my deepest “yes!” and my most adamant “no!”? – metaphorically speaking}

{What are three words I would use to describe my strengths?}

It is only when we have begun to grasp who we are (and who we are not) that we are able to step into the next question and seek out, “What am I doing here?”

These questions might help unfold this answer for you:

{How might I practically express the essence of my strengths and personality?}

{How might I bring peace and wholeness into a place of chaos? – think big & think small}

{What is one thing I can start doing to live life for more than just “me”?}

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Who are you ?

What are you doing here?

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*Please note: This article is not intended to be or replace professional counseling. Rather it is for the emotional & spiritual encouragement of the reader.

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By Kjersten Halvorsen, MA | 719.232.4132
Return to: http://KjerstenHalvorsen.com